"He who Fears of being Conquered is sure of defeat" Napoleon

May 20, 2010

Dear ---------’s Family,
My name is Jessica Ivins. I have been ---------’s foster mom since her birth. She became a part of our family when she was 3 days old. I never liked the connotation that went with foster mom, I am “mama” to --------. She has been in our home since August 27, 2008. My husband is Erman, and we have 4 biological children. They are Isaac 14, Jaida 12, Kaylin 10 and Landon 8. They have adored her since she came into our family. She especially loves to go to Landon. He just has to look at her and she laughs uncontrollably. He knows her tickle spot- behind her neck. Kaylin loves to get her dressed. I have to set the clothes out if I want to pick ------’s clothes for that day, otherwise, Kaylin beats me to it. Kaylin and Landon are home with ----- everyday since they are homeschooled. ----- has never been to a babysitter.
This is an ominous task. If I write a two page letter about how cute she is, I may sabotage her adoption with our family, and if I tell you she is a lot of work and that she will one day grow up to be a teenage girl, well, I accept that and would be skipping the best part. Honesty is the best policy. I want to convey to you and her family that we love her as one of our own. Our understanding comes through experiences. Five years ago we went to Arizona to become caretakers of our 11month old nephew. I felt that he absolutely had to be in the family. We did not come home with him. I feel that all things are in God’s hands. I would like to have contact with him and let him know that he has a caring Aunt and Uncle. Therefore, I understand where you are coming from.
------ has been in our home for the last 21 months. We have had four foster children in our home before ------. I have always felt keeping in touch with the biological parents was important if it was possible or in the best interest of the child. I communicated with her biological mother in the beginning through letters and I sent a picture and wrote a letter to her father, ---------------, in prison. I have kept in touch with every foster child we have had in our home. We go to all birthday parties for them and love them all. When I brought Neveah home I felt like she was going to become part of our family. She has completely bonded with all of her siblings in our home and vice versa. We felt positive about the possibility that we would adopt ------- and looked forward to having “our” family: -------, Landon, Kaylin, Jaida, and Isaac. A child will grow up and become the best person she can as long as she is given a loving and safe environment. We have and will do this for -------. I would be willing to keep in touch with her family. I would want her to have answers if she had questions when that time came. Family history and knowing where you come from is important. I understand.
What would I want to know If I was in your shoes? What is most important to you? Loving home. Christian values. Necessities. Education. Money. Nice car. Big Birthday Party. Picture with Santa. I am sure that we will get to know one another in the future. I will try to put the uneasy questions behind us. We are a bi-racial family. My husband is from Arizona. He is Native American of the Western Apache Tribe. His family lives on the White Mountain Apache Reservation. He has 15 siblings. I am from California. I am European –Swedish decent. I have 3 siblings. I have BA in English and have homeschooled my children for the last 6 years. My husband works for a grocery store in Pennsylvania. Next year all of the kids will be in public school so I look forward to being home with just one on one time with ------. She has her own room. She loves spaghetti and chocolate cake. She has a smile unlike any other. She loves to wave at everyone. She blows kisses to you with two hands. She does not like bugs! She loves books. She loves to have a book read to her every night. She says her prayers at night. She loves going outside to play. She loves it when “daddy” comes home from work. She loves her nap routine. She just got a new pink tricycle. She is pointing at things and wants to know the names of everything. She enjoys helping me in the garden. She loves being pushed in her toy car outside. She enjoys bike rides- she rides on the back of my bike. She colors. She likes it when people compliment her on her shoes and hair (which people do often).
I hope that we can continue to communicate. I hope that I was not too pithy in my writing; however, I like to cut to the chase. I am always honest and hope that we can continue to keep the best interest of ------- at heart.

Sincerely,

Jessica Ivins
Please contact me via email ---------------
I would be happy to email pictures.