Reform

Dear New Jersey Legislature,
Lets take a closer look into foster care



I am a foster parent in the state of New Jersey. I have been in the service of the State of New Jersey for three years. I am currently adopting a baby through foster care and intensively involved in a four year old’s case. I am a firm believer that service begins at home. I care for the children and I am an active advocate for them.
In the beginning the four year old’s needs were manageable. DYFS did send a nurse to the house that listened to his medical needs early on while things were manageable. As the medical needs of the four year old arose I sought support from DYFS. He was diagnosed with progressive myopia. I was told that they could not pay for his glasses out of pocket cost of $80. His allergies were extreme and the doctors were not helping his allergies. His eczema was so severe that he would itch all night and awake in a bed of skin and blood spotted sheets. He screamed during bathes and continually suffered. I sat in the doctors office requesting the doctor to look at his skin. She refused to take time from her busy schedule. I left the office frustrated calling the worker with my concerns. This went on for months.
As time continued, we were seeking adoption of the four years old. There was an Aunt involved, however, she lived out of state and it was taking time to finish the inter state investigation. I was in continual contact with the Law Guardian. I asked if everything was being done. I requested a bonding evaluation. The Law Guardian informs me that she does not work for me, but for Cameron. I ask if I am not a advocate for him?
In August of 2008 I received a new foster baby. A nurse came in September to see the baby and noticed Cameron. She asked about his medical needs. I was relieved that somebody wanted to help. She was extremely helpful and sought to put him on her case load. She helped me find a new doctor, made him an urgent appointment. By November we had a list of food allergies and many more (trees, shrubs, grass, dust, mold, cats, dogs, peanut, dairy, eggs, soy, wheat.) I was informed by the doctor that it was okay to have a dog. The dog was not allowed in his room. He was diagnosed with asthma. This led to a specific diet for him to follow and regular medications.
Mean while we are awaiting a permanency hearing. Unfortunately, this was postponed in December, and January. In December of 2008, I told the worker that I could not seek adoption. At this time there was an Aunt being investigated as a possible family member to adopt. The following day I received a call asking what DYFS could do to help. They informed me that the Aunt had moved to another state and that the mother had said she could not care for him (lie). I was all that he had. I told them that it was simply too much and that it would be best for the
Aunt to adopt him. I asked for the glasses to be paid for and daycare. I asked where he would go if I could not care for him and they said another foster home. I told them that he had many medical needs and could not be placed in regular foster home. He had doctors appointment averaging weekly. She informed me that eczema was not a big deal, and that all I need to do I simply apply some cream. I knew this child could not be placed in a regular foster home and they were not listening to his needs.
In February I began actively seeking a reassessment, these are suppose to be done every six months. I had requested one in September after I was refused payment for the glasses. I asked the worker to do this with me. She told me that I can not sit at her desk and type in the answers. She informed me that this was her job. I questioned how she would know what his needs are. She simply refused. I began writing letters to the LOM Local Office Manager. He would eventually get the glasses paid for and inform me that doing a reassessment with me would be the only way to do a thorough reassessment.
In February the nurse requested that he be labeled Medically Fragile. Meanwhile, I began asking DYFS to follow her recommendation as they are not required to accept the nurse recommendations. As they awaited the nurses report I requested a through reassessment with me on the phone. This was done with the supervisor and the worker all the while mocking his medical needs. The Supervisor advised me that DYSF was giving payment for damages done to my home by the four year old when they knew this was not true. I was never asked a question on the reassessment only told repeatedly that I was receiving more credit and hours than what they assumed I was doing. I was contacted by a Medically Fragile Supervisor and asked what I wanted to do. I told her that I only wanted him labeled Medically Fragile so that he would receive the proper care he needed when placed in a new foster home. I informed her that it was too much to stress to continue fostering the four year old. She told me that they obviously had given me more than I could handle. I was asked by her if I had a dog because the four year old was allergic to the dog. I informed her that it was a Seeing Eye Dog and that it would be leaving for training in the next few months. She then proceeded to ask if my cat was a Seeing Eye Cat? I informed her that it was an outside cat and that it was not a Seeing Eye Cat. She asked if more money was going to make this easier to care for him. I informed her that it was not about the money, but making sure that he is labeled correctly so that he receives the care he needs. The following visit that the worker came to my house she informed me that DYFS would be investigating the fact that I have a dog. I immediately asked the Doctor to send a letter explaining the “dog” situation for DYFS.
Needless to say, the four year old was labeled Medically fragile and DYFS has said that they would back pay to the point that the nurse recommended the Medically fragile label. The worker is working on “case burn out.” The permanency hearing finally took place in February and it was decided to give the biological mother another 6 months. I told DYFS that I simply can not continue with this involvement and it would be best to find him a new home. It has been decided that in the best interest of the child, he will remain in my home until school is out, June 2009.
In April I attended a review conference. The worker had not realized that the conference would interfere with his visit. I went to Trenton to attend and therefore, brought the four year old for a visit. I sat in the waiting room and introduced myself to the mother. The worker walked in and told the mother that there was a conference today. She did not have any notice of the conference. The worker said she sent the letter out. The mother had moved and never received the letter. However, I had received my letter a month previous and the worker sees the mother weekly for visits. The worker said, I drove by your house to day but you weren’t there. What house did she drive by? The mother says that she called the worker. The worker said that she did not leave a phone number. The mother said that caller ID would have recorded the number. The worker said that her phone was not on.
At the conference I was told that mom would be given another 6 months. I love and adore the four year old, however, due to the continual stress involved with the DYFS, I could no longer seek adoption. As I was waiting for the child’s visit to finish I was approached by the worker. She asked if the child plays with the dog. I had already provided a written statement from the doctor regarding the dog. I told her that I did not know what she wanted me to say. I had told her repeatedly about the dog. I informed her that she was the reason that I can not continue being a foster parent. She left and returned to inform me that the food I sent with the four year old was processed in a plant that manufactures dairy products. I was appalled by the workers attempts to discredit me as a responsible foster parent. I have cared for this child for over 15 months and DYFS did not want to hear about his extensive allergies and now she is telling me what to feed him. She returned a third time to inform me that the nurse requested that I take the child to the doctor immediately upon returning home due to an abrasion on his ankle from the eczema. Needless to say, when I brought the child to the mother I told her that he had a scratch on his ankle from itching. I told the worker to let me speak to the nurse that recommended the doctor visit. I informed the nurse that it was being cared for and that he has antibacterial ointment for this purpose. She was satisfied. The supervisor than asks when I had this ointment filled. I tell her that it was filled in October of 2008. She reacts unsatisfied. I inform her that there is plenty of ointment in the tube.
I left the DYFS office feeling like I was being investigated. I have never felt so interrogated and underappreciated. I began foster care to teach my children that service begins at home. DYFS treats me as though I am simply suppose to sit back and take care of the superficial needs of the child. Yet, when I took the classes I was told that I was an advocate for this child. I want to adopt him, but there is no way I can continue with the worry of DYFS always searching for a problem to blame on me. In the best interest of my family I am ending my relationship with DYFS and have zero confidence that they are helping this child’s biological mother. If this is how they treat the foster parent, than how do they treat the biological mother.
DYFS had a loving, caring, involved, foster parents and pushed them away. The State of NJ wonders why they do not have loving foster homes, maybe it is because the chase them away, far away.

As of today, I faxed a letter to the judge requesting a new worker be placed on the case. I do not know if this will change things. I hope it will. We are trying to do what is best while hanging on to real life for our kids, our family.